I’ve spent the better part of my 20s “living to work” – ever since I found a passion for marketing and specifically in healthcare, I’ve loved my job. When I moved back home to be with Bri and my family, I gave a little bit of that up. I still love my profession, but I often find myself getting increasingly frustrated and wanting to be home more and more. I imagine that will only increase when we have a family one day.
What I struggle with is accepting that. I feel like my job and what I do for a living has always defined me…I’ve been successful, I’m good at what I do (if I do say so myself), I’ve advanced at the pace I wanted to, and now I’m pursuing my MBA (in hopes of graduating in Spring 2015.) I’ve always been content from a professional stand point, and that is slowly changing. It makes me uncomfortable because it’s new territory for me. And it’s disheartening because I spend more time at work than I do at home, like most people.
Most of my friends “work to live” and are perfectly content just leaving their work at work and not becoming emotionally invested. It’s never been like that for me, and I guess I am just struggling with this inner pull I feel. I’ve gotten pretty much everything I’ve wanted, and here I am…and it’s just not as cool as I thought it would be. Being in an upper-level management position has opened my eyes to the unfortunate politics and behaviors of people at the top, people I thought I respected and then learn that most of them are just out for themselves. It’s jaded me a bit.
I am hoping this may just be a phase and I can find my passion again…and if not, it may be time to figure out a new direction. But until then I will just try and enjoy the journey.